Posts Tagged ‘Crash Test Dummies’

When Bruce and I were little kids in separate schools, divided by geography, years, and parents who wouldn’t talk with each other (How could they? They didn’t even know each other!), we indulged in the kind of mindless entertainment all young boys do. No, not the kind that’ll make you go blind. The kind that kills brain cells without artificial additives. Stupid stuff. The kind of stuff mindless people will do given the opportunity to vent their prepubescent rage. Or at least we’d like to think we did.

Mindless thing #1. Let’s hang “Tommy” from the bridge. Drivers will see, freak-out, cause multi-vehicle collisions and hilarity will ensue. We didn’t really hang “Tommy”, our version of an early crash test dummy, so much as take his clothes, sew up the sleeves and pants legs, stuff them with paper and then hung this paperboy from the bridge. Nobody saw “Tommy”. No collisions, but in truth, we thought it was the funniest thing ever. See, mindless.

Not Tommy! (

Mindless thing# 2. Impersonating the law. This usually happened under two conditions: lust or drunkenness. Sometimes those two walked hand-in-hand. Picture chasing in our car, flashing the red-covered driving lights, two nubile young women in their car, exhorting them to pull over.The NYW, seeing the flashing red lights on our VW Beetle (!), thought they were being pulled over by the law. Obviously they weren’t too bright if they thoughts cops drove VWs! Upon seeing it was two young dudes in heat, they split as quickly as they could. We did warn you this was mindless. Grateful that they did not report us to the real law, we followed suit and split, but in a different direction.

What we thought we looked like. (

Mindless #3. Being the really good friend by going out with hot girl’s not-so-hot friend in order for your friend to take out Miss Pretty. Yeah, that’s what friends are for. Nothing will contribute to reprobate behavior and quick inebriation as taking one for the team. What team? I don’t have a number on my shirt! And I’m certainly not going to make it to first base with this girl either! But, friendship prevails and a good time was had by two of the four people involved. Yeah, mindless.

The feeling was mutual! (

Mindless #4. This is easy. See our previous post, Blogging for Idiots, 101. Yeah, mindless, very mindless.