Archive for February, 2014

Goodbye cruel world.

Posted: February 12, 2014 in Uncategorized

The Two Bruces have had it. Despite all our hard work, insightful opinions, erudite musings, sophisticated recipes (er, scratch that one. We didn’t really!), political views, and scatalogical humor, your plebian tastes left you woefully unprepared for which we were happy to serve you. Blame it on a public school system that proffers a lunch program where even a GMO menu would be an improvement.

1796102282_ce86149fc2 Yeah, uh-huh!

Or you could blame it on a political system that provides generally only two candidates with which to entertain us and usually not that well either. Third party candidates are often entertaining but don’t have the budget to cut through the crap the others are throwing up. We use “throwing up” most unguardedly. Cast some blame over there.

How about the preponderance of television shows worshipping at the altar of food? Gordon Ramsey, Nigella Lawson, the fat guy who eats everything, the other fat and balding guy who eats everything, Anthony Bourdain, the Australian guy who looks like he just got out of jail or rehab or both, Alton Whoever, and all the others who would advise you to eat well, eat often, and eat crap. Yeah, you could place some of the blame on them too.

Blame it on personal electronics. How many of you really need to divorce yourself from the world listening to lousy quality music through ear buds? Ear Buds? Really? They sound like something one plants in the spring and waits for the mutant harvest to reveal itself by fall. Ear buds… it sounds like a new Budweiser product. They really contribute to the global dialogue.

Viagra, Cialis (what the hell do those two bathtubs mean anyway!?), Levitra. Oh yeah ED. It seems like there’s an epidemic of ED going around. If you ask Bruce or me, it’s code for special ed and we all know what that means. C’mon, there’s plenty of blame to go around.

So, we could go on, but it doesn’t seem to matter. Even our mothers don’t read this any longer. Convince us otherwise and we’ll continue with the tripe you like. If not, see you on the other side.