Archive for May, 2012

Goodbye, dear Yorick…

Posted: May 29, 2012 in Love
Tags: , ,

For all our readers, I have something to share with you and it saddens me to tell you this. Yesterday, Bruce lost a connection near and dear to him. It wasn’t totally unexpected, but that still doesn’t make things easier. They knew each other their entire lives and when one loses a loved one so close and so dear, the pain is palpable. And knowing this is gone, leaves only emptiness – a bleeding, gaping hole of pain.

(howmed,net)

The hole this love leaves behind can’t be replaced by another. Oh, I suppose it could be replaced by another, a surrogate, but it would be artificial. It’ll never be the same. The original is always the best and the one you remember and favor most.

I can’t even begin to tell how close and Bruce and the departed were. They were thought to be inseparable. Bruce could not say anything without this loved one knowing every word. Really, it seems, no, it was that way – they were never apart. And never a cross word between them, until perhaps near the end when the fear and frustration and pain of losing someone you love so much becomes real.

And now, when Bruce gets up every morning, he knows he ‘ll never see his beloved again. His smile will never be the same. It will convey the emptiness Bruce now feels. And the world will know.

Right now, Bruce needs all the comfort and compassion all of you can bring him. Pharmaceuticals will be of great help. Losing a tooth at his age hurts like hell.

(wisdomteethout.info)

Screw The Lawyers

Posted: May 28, 2012 in Humor

The Two Bruces both had the privilege many years ago of having had Bar Mitzvahs.  Yep, at 13 years old, our teachers and parents and Rabbis tried to convince us that we were men.   Sure, sure.  I had braces on my teeth that took my parents 10 years to pay for.  That is not being a man.   And, as we compare notes, neither one of the Bar Mitzvahs was a  particularly good experience.   Well, the $25 EE savings bonds were okay (big spender my Uncle Sol was, he paid $18 for them) and the Cross pen and pencil sets were not too bad (but did I need 12 of them?)

Today the Jewish people celebrated the holiday of Shavuot.  It is significant since it is the day on which the Torah was revealed by God to the Israelite nation at Mount Sinai (which includes the Ten Commandments).  I was at synagogue in the morning and we all stood up as we heard the “Big 10” recited in 4 minutes,  Why do I, as a lawyer, want to say “screw the lawyers” when I read the Ten Commandments?

One of my areas of legal practice is in the area of taxation.   The Internal Revenue Code, also known at Title 26 of the United States Code, is so big that it contains 3,400,000 words, and, with regulations, it contains 9,000,000 words.  The directions for filing a typical form 1040 totals 161 pages, and the “EZ” version is 41 pages.

Here Are The Ten Commandments As Supposedly Written By God*, And As Received By Moses:

*Some people do not believe that God actually wrote these.  Who cares who actually wrote them; maybe God had ghost writers or editors or independent contractors.

1) You shall have no other gods but me
2) You shall not take the name of your Lord in vain
3) You shall remember and keep the Sabbath day holy
4) Honor your father and mother
5) You shall not murder
6  You shall not commit adultery
7) You shall not steal
8) You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor
9)  You shall not covet your neighbor’s goods.
10)  You shall not covet your neighbor’s house.

Nobody can deny this is simply genius stuff.  Not one person; does not matter what religion, or non-religion, say atheism  or agnostic, or even say Zoroastrianism, can deny its greatness.   I believe that if everyone followed these basic rules, war would stop and my freaking neighbors would stop mowing the grass on Saturday morning at 7:30 am.

Now, compare the above to Section 45 of the Internal Revenue Code Relating To Electricity Produced From Certain Renewable Resources, Etc.  Scroll, Baby, Scroll and get to the end.

(a) General rule

For purposes of section 38, the renewable electricity production credit for any taxable year is an amount equal to the product of—
(1) 1.5 cents, multiplied by
(2) the kilowatt hours of electricity—

(A) produced by the taxpayer—
 (i) from qualified energy resources, and
 (ii) at a qualified facility during the 10-year period beginning on the date the facility was originally placed in service, and
 (B) sold by the taxpayer to an unrelated person during the taxable year.
 (b) Limitations and adjustments
 (1) Phaseout of credit

The amount of the credit determined under subsection (a) shall be reduced by an amount which bears the same ratio to the amount of the credit (determined without regard to this paragraph) as—
 (A) the amount by which the reference price for the calendar year in which the sale occurs exceeds 8 cents, bears to
 (B) 3 cents.
 (2) Credit and phaseout adjustment based on inflation

The 1.5 cent amount in subsection (a), the 8 cent amount in paragraph (1), the $4.375 amount in subsection (e)(8)(A), the $3 amount in subsection (e)(8)(D)(ii)(I), and in subsection (e)(8)(B)(i) the reference price of fuel used as a feedstock (within the meaning of subsection (c)(7)(A)) in 2002 shall each be adjusted by multiplying such amount by the inflation adjustment factor for the calendar year in which the sale occurs. If any amount as increased under the preceding sentence is not a multiple of 0.1 cent, such amount shall be rounded to the nearest multiple of 0.1 cent.
 (3) Credit reduced for grants, tax-exempt bonds, subsidized energy financing, and other credits

The amount of the credit determined under subsection (a) with respect to any project for any taxable year (determined after the application of paragraphs (1) and (2)) shall be reduced by the amount which is the product of the amount so determined for such year and the lesser of 1/2 or a fraction—
(A) the numerator of which is the sum, for the taxable year and all prior taxable years, of—
 (i) grants provided by the United States, a State, or a political subdivision of a State for use in connection with the project,
 (ii) proceeds of an issue of State or local government obligations used to provide financing for the project the interest on which is exempt from tax under section 103,
 (iii) the aggregate amount of subsidized energy financing provided (directly or indirectly) under a Federal, State, or local program provided in connection with the project, and
 (iv) the amount of any other credit allowable with respect to any property which is part of the project, and
 (B) the denominator of which is the aggregate amount of additions to the capital account for the project for the taxable year and all prior taxable years.
The amounts under the preceding sentence for any taxable year shall be determined as of the close of the taxable year. This paragraph shall not apply with respect to any facility described in subsection (d)(2)(A)(ii).
 (4) Credit rate and period for electricity produced and sold from certain facilities
 (A) Credit rate

In the case of electricity produced and sold in any calendar year after 2003 at any qualified facility described in paragraph (3), (5), (6), (7), (9), or (11) of subsection (d), the amount in effect under subsection (a)(1) for such calendar year (determined before the application of the last sentence of paragraph (2) of this subsection) shall be reduced by one-half.
 (B) Credit period
 (i) In general Except as provided in clause (ii) or clause (iii), in the case of any facility described in paragraph (3), (4), (5), (6), or (7) of subsection (d), the 5-year period beginning on the date the facility was originally placed in service shall be substituted for the 10-year period in subsection (a)(2)(A)(ii).
 (ii) Certain open-loop biomass facilities In the case of any facility described in subsection (d)(3)(A)(ii) placed in service before the date of the enactment of this paragraph, the 5-year period beginning on January 1, 2005, shall be substituted for the 10-year period in subsection (a)(2)(A)(ii).
 (iii) Termination Clause (i) shall not apply to any facility placed in service after the date of the enactment of this clause.
 (c) Resources

For purposes of this section:
 (1) In general

The term “qualified energy resources” means
 (A) wind,
 (B) closed-loop biomass,
(C) open-loop biomass,
(D) geothermal energy,
(E) solar energy,
(F) small irrigation power,
(G) municipal solid waste,
(H) qualified hydropower production, and
(I) marine and hydrokinetic renewable energy.
(2) Closed-loop biomass

The term “closed-loop biomass” means any organic material from a plant which is planted exclusively for purposes of being used at a qualified facility to produce electricity.
(3) Open-loop biomass

(A) In general

The term “open-loop biomass” means—
(i) any agricultural livestock waste nutrients, or
(ii) any solid, nonhazardous, cellulosic waste material or any lignin material which is derived from—

(I) any of the following forest-related resources: mill and harvesting residues, precommercial thinnings, slash, and brush,
(II) solid wood waste materials, including waste pallets, crates, dunnage, manufacturing and construction wood wastes (other than pressure-treated, chemically-treated, or painted wood wastes), and landscape or right-of-way tree trimmings, but not including municipal solid waste, gas derived from the biodegradation of solid waste, or paper which is commonly recycled, or
(III) agriculture sources, including orchard tree crops, vineyard, grain, legumes, sugar, and other crop by-products or residues.

Such term shall not include closed-loop biomass or biomass burned in conjunction with fossil fuel (cofiring) beyond such fossil fuel required for startup and flame stabilization.
(B) Agricultural livestock waste nutrients

(i) In general The term “agricultural livestock waste nutrients” means agricultural livestock manure and litter, including wood shavings, straw, rice hulls, and other bedding material for the disposition of manure.
(ii) Agricultural livestock The term “agricultural livestock” includes bovine, swine, poultry, and sheep.
(4) Geothermal energy

The term “geothermal energy” means energy derived from a geothermal deposit (within the meaning of section 613(e)(2).
(5) Small irrigation power

The term “small irrigation power” means power—
(A) generated without any dam or impoundment of water through an irrigation system canal or ditch, and
(B) the nameplate capacity rating of which is not less than 150 kilowatts but is less than 5 megawatts.
(6) Municipal solid waste

The term “municipal solid waste” has the meaning given the term “solid waste” under section 2(27)  [1] of the Solid Waste Disposal Act  (42 U.S.C. 6903).
(7) Refined coal

(A) In general
The term “refined coal” means a fuel—
(i) which—

(I) is a liquid, gaseous, or solid fuel produced from coal (including lignite) or high carbon fly ash, including such fuel used as a feedstock,
(II) is sold by the taxpayer with the reasonable expectation that it will be used for purpose  [2] of producing steam, and
(III) is certified by the taxpayer as resulting (when used in the production of steam) in a qualified emission reduction.
[3]
(ii) which is steel industry fuel.
(B) Qualified emission reduction

The term “qualified emission reduction” means a reduction of at least 20 percent of the emissions of nitrogen oxide and at least 40 percent of the emissions of either sulfur dioxide or mercury released when burning the refined coal (excluding any dilution caused by materials combined or added during the production process), as compared to the emissions released when burning the feedstock coal or comparable coal predominantly available in the marketplace as of January 1, 2003.
(C) Steel industry fuel
(i) In general The term “steel industry fuel” means a fuel which—
(I) is produced through a process of liquifying coal waste sludge and distributing it on coal, and
(II) is used as a feedstock for the manufacture of coke.
(ii) Coal waste sludge The term “coal waste sludge” means the tar decanter sludge and related byproducts of the coking process, including such materials that have been stored in ground, in tanks and in lagoons, that have been treated as hazardous wastes under applicable Federal environmental rules absent liquefaction and processing with coal into a feedstock for the manufacture of coke.
(8) Qualified hydropower production

(A) In general

The term “qualified hydropower production” means—
(i) in the case of any hydroelectric dam which was placed in service on or before the date of the enactment of this paragraph, the incremental hydropower production for the taxable year, and
(ii) in the case of any nonhydroelectric dam described in subparagraph (C), the hydropower production from the facility for the taxable year.
(B) Determination of incremental hydropower production

(i) In general For purposes of subparagraph (A), incremental hydropower production for any taxable year shall be equal to the percentage of average annual hydropower production at the facility attributable to the efficiency improvements or additions of capacity placed in service after the date of the enactment of this paragraph, determined by using the same water flow information used to determine an historic average annual hydropower production baseline for such facility. Such percentage and baseline shall be certified by the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission.
(ii) Operational changes disregarded For purposes of clause (i), the determination of incremental hydropower production shall not be based on any operational changes at such facility not directly associated with the efficiency improvements or additions of capacity.
(C) Nonhydroelectric dam

For purposes of subparagraph (A), a facility is described in this subparagraph if—
(i) the hydroelectric project installed on the nonhydroelectric dam is licensed by the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission and meets all other applicable environmental, licensing, and regulatory requirements,
(ii) the nonhydroelectric dam was placed in service before the date of the enactment of this paragraph and operated for flood control, navigation, or water supply purposes and did not produce hydroelectric power on the date of the enactment of this paragraph, and
(iii) the hydroelectric project is operated so that the water surface elevation at any given location and time that would have occurred in the absence of the hydroelectric project is maintained, subject to any license requirements imposed under applicable law that change the water surface elevation for the purpose of improving environmental quality of the affected waterway.

The Secretary, in consultation with the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission, shall certify if a hydroelectric project licensed at a nonhydroelectric dam meets the criteria in clause (iii). Nothing in this section shall affect the standards under which the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission issues licenses for and regulates hydropower projects under part I of the Federal Power Act.
(9) Indian coal

(A) In general

The term “Indian coal” means coal which is produced from coal reserves which, on June 14, 2005—
(i) were owned by an Indian tribe, or
(ii) were held in trust by the United States for the benefit of an Indian tribe or its members.
(B) Indian tribe

For purposes of this paragraph, the term “Indian tribe” has the meaning given such term by section 7871(c)(3)(E)(ii).
(10) Marine and hydrokinetic renewable energy

(A) In general

The term “marine and hydrokinetic renewable energy” means energy derived from—
(i) waves, tides, and currents in oceans, estuaries, and tidal areas,
(ii) free flowing water in rivers, lakes, and streams,
(iii) free flowing water in an irrigation system, canal, or other man-made channel, including projects that utilize nonmechanical structures to accelerate the flow of water for electric power production purposes, or
(iv) differentials in ocean temperature (ocean thermal energy conversion).
(B) Exceptions

Such term shall not include any energy which is derived from any source which utilizes a dam, diversionary structure (except as provided in subparagraph (A)(iii)), or impoundment for electric power production purposes.
(d) Qualified facilities

For purposes of this section:
(1) Wind facility

In the case of a facility using wind to produce electricity, the term “qualified facility” means any facility owned by the taxpayer which is originally placed in service after December 31, 1993, and before January 1, 2013. Such term shall not include any facility with respect to which any qualified small wind energy property expenditure (as defined in subsection (d)(4) of section 25D) is taken into account in determining the credit under such section.
(2) Closed-loop biomass facility

(A) In general

In the case of a facility using closed-loop biomass to produce electricity, the term “qualified facility” means any facility—
(i) owned by the taxpayer which is originally placed in service after December 31, 1992, and before January 1, 2014, or
(ii) owned by the taxpayer which before January 1, 2014, is originally placed in service and modified to use closed-loop biomass to co-fire with coal, with other biomass, or with both, but only if the modification is approved under the Biomass Power for Rural Development Programs or is part of a pilot project of the Commodity Credit Corporation as described in 65 Fed. Reg. 63052.
(B) Expansion of facility

Such term shall include a new unit placed in service after the date of the enactment of this subparagraph in connection with a facility described in subparagraph (A)(i), but only to the extent of the increased amount of electricity produced at the facility by reason of such new unit.
(C) Special rules

In the case of a qualified facility described in subparagraph (A)(ii)—
(i) the 10-year period referred to in subsection (a) shall be treated as beginning no earlier than the date of the enactment of this clause, and
(ii) if the owner of such facility is not the producer of the electricity, the person eligible for the credit allowable under subsection (a) shall be the lessee or the operator of such facility.
(3) Open-loop biomass facilities

(A) In general

In the case of a facility using open-loop biomass to produce electricity, the term “qualified facility” means any facility owned by the taxpayer which—
(i) in the case of a facility using agricultural livestock waste nutrients—

(I) is originally placed in service after the date of the enactment of this subclause and before January 1, 2014, and
(II) the nameplate capacity rating of which is not less than 150 kilowatts, and
(ii) in the case of any other facility, is originally placed in service before January 1, 2014.
(B) Expansion of facility

Such term shall include a new unit placed in service after the date of the enactment of this subparagraph in connection with a facility described in subparagraph (A), but only to the extent of the increased amount of electricity produced at the facility by reason of such new unit.
(C) Credit eligibility

In the case of any facility described in subparagraph (A), if the owner of such facility is not the producer of the electricity, the person eligible for the credit allowable under subsection (a) shall be the lessee or the operator of such facility.
(4) Geothermal or solar energy facility

In the case of a facility using geothermal or solar energy to produce electricity, the term “qualified facility” means any facility owned by the taxpayer which is originally placed in service after the date of the enactment of this paragraph and before January 1, 2014 (January 1, 2006, in the case of a facility using solar energy). Such term shall not include any property described in section 48 (a)(3)the basis of which is taken into account by the taxpayer for purposes of determining the energy credit under section 48.
(5) Small irrigation power facility

In the case of a facility using small irrigation power to produce electricity, the term “qualified facility” means any facility owned by the taxpayer which is originally placed in service after the date of the enactment of this paragraph and before October 3, 2008.
(6) Landfill gas facilities

In the case of a facility producing electricity from gas derived from the biodegradation of municipal solid waste, the term “qualified facility” means any facility owned by the taxpayer which is originally placed in service after the date of the enactment of this paragraph and before January 1, 2014.
(7) Trash facilities

In the case of a facility (other than a facility described in paragraph (6)) which uses municipal solid waste to produce electricity, the term “qualified facility” means any facility owned by the taxpayer which is originally placed in service after the date of the enactment of this paragraph and before January 1, 2014. Such term shall include a new unit placed in service in connection with a facility placed in service on or before the date of the enactment of this paragraph, but only to the extent of the increased amount of electricity produced at the facility by reason of such new unit.
(8) Refined coal production facility

In the case of a facility that produces refined coal, the term “refined coal production facility” means—
(A) with respect to a facility producing steel industry fuel, any facility (or any modification to a facility) which is placed in service before January 1, 2010, and
(B) with respect to any other facility producing refined coal, any facility placed in service after the date of the enactment of the American Jobs Creation Act of 2004 and before January 1, 2012.
(9) Qualified hydropower facility

In the case of a facility producing qualified hydroelectric production described in subsection (c)(8), the term “qualified facility” means—
(A) in the case of any facility producing incremental hydropower production, such facility but only to the extent of its incremental hydropower production attributable to efficiency improvements or additions to capacity described in subsection (c)(8)(B) placed in service after the date of the enactment of this paragraph and before January 1, 2014, and
(B) any other facility placed in service after the date of the enactment of this paragraph and before January 1, 2014.
(C) Credit period.— In the case of a qualified facility described in subparagraph (A), the 10-year period referred to in subsection (a) shall be treated as beginning on the date the efficiency improvements or additions to capacity are placed in service.
(10) Indian coal production facility

In the case of a facility that produces Indian coal, the term “Indian coal production facility” means a facility which is placed in service before January 1, 2009.
(11) Marine and hydrokinetic renewable energy facilities

In the case of a facility producing electricity from marine and hydrokinetic renewable energy, the term “qualified facility” means any facility owned by the taxpayer—
(A) which has a nameplate capacity rating of at least 150 kilowatts, and
(B) which is originally placed in service on or after the date of the enactment of this paragraph and before January 1, 2014.
(e) Definitions and special rules

For purposes of this section—
(1) Only production in the United States taken into account

Sales shall be taken into account under this section only with respect to electricity the production of which is within—
(A) the United States (within the meaning of section 638 (1), or
(B) a possession of the United States (within the meaning of section 638 (2).
(2) Computation of inflation adjustment factor and reference price

(A) In general

The Secretary shall, not later than April 1 of each calendar year, determine and publish in the Federal Register the inflation adjustment factor and the reference price for such calendar year in accordance with this paragraph.
(B) Inflation adjustment factor

The term “inflation adjustment factor” means, with respect to a calendar year, a fraction the numerator of which is the GDP implicit price deflator for the preceding calendar year and the denominator of which is the GDP implicit price deflator for the calendar year 1992. The term “GDP implicit price deflator” means the most recent revision of the implicit price deflator for the gross domestic product as computed and published by the Department of Commerce before March 15 of the calendar year.
(C) Reference price

The term “reference price” means, with respect to a calendar year, the Secretary’s determination of the annual average contract price per kilowatt hour of electricity generated from the same qualified energy resource and sold in the previous year in the United States. For purposes of the preceding sentence, only contracts entered into after December 31, 1989, shall be taken into account.
(3) Production attributable to the taxpayer

In the case of a facility in which more than 1 person has an ownership interest, except to the extent provided in regulations prescribed by the Secretary, production from the facility shall be allocated among such persons in proportion to their respective ownership interests in the gross sales from such facility.
(4) Related persons

Persons shall be treated as related to each other if such persons would be treated as a single employer under the regulations prescribed under section 52(b). In the case of a corporation which is a member of an affiliated group of corporations filing a consolidated return, such corporation shall be treated as selling electricity to an unrelated person if such electricity is sold to such a person by another member of such group.
(5) Pass-thru in the case of estates and trusts

Under regulations prescribed by the Secretary, rules similar to the rules of subsection (d) of section 52shall apply.
[(6) Repealed. Pub. L. 109–58, title XIII, § 1301(f)(3),Aug. 8, 2005, 119 Stat. 990]
(7) Credit not to apply to electricity sold to utilities under certain contracts

(A) In general

The credit determined under subsection (a) shall not apply to electricity—
(i) produced at a qualified facility described in subsection (d)(1) which is originally placed in service after June 30, 1999, and
(ii) sold to a utility pursuant to a contract originally entered into before January 1, 1987 (whether or not amended or restated after that date).
(B) Exception

Subparagraph (A) shall not apply if—
(i) the prices for energy and capacity from such facility are established pursuant to an amendment to the contract referred to in subparagraph (A)(ii),
(ii) such amendment provides that the prices set forth in the contract which exceed avoided cost prices determined at the time of delivery shall apply only to annual quantities of electricity (prorated for partial years) which do not exceed the greater of—

(I) the average annual quantity of electricity sold to the utility under the contract during calendar years 1994, 1995, 1996, 1997, and 1998, or
(II) the estimate of the annual electricity production set forth in the contract, or, if there is no such estimate, the greatest annual quantity of electricity sold to the utility under the contract in any of the calendar years 1996, 1997, or 1998, and
(iii) such amendment provides that energy and capacity in excess of the limitation in clause (ii) may be—

(I) sold to the utility only at prices that do not exceed avoided cost prices determined at the time of delivery, or
(II) sold to a third party subject to a mutually agreed upon advance notice to the utility.

For purposes of this subparagraph, avoided cost prices shall be determined as provided for in 18 CFR 292.304(d)(1) or any successor regulation.
(8) Refined coal production facilities

(A) Determination of credit amount
In the case of a producer of refined coal, the credit determined under this section (without regard to this paragraph) for any taxable year shall be increased by an amount equal to $4.375 per ton of qualified refined coal—
(i) produced by the taxpayer at a refined coal production facility during the 10-year period beginning on the date the facility was originally placed in service, and
(ii) sold by the taxpayer—

(I) to an unrelated person, and
(II) during such 10-year period and such taxable year.
(B) Phaseout of credit
The amount of the increase determined under subparagraph (A) shall be reduced by an amount which bears the same ratio to the amount of the increase (determined without regard to this subparagraph) as—
(i) the amount by which the reference price of fuel used as a feedstock (within the meaning of subsection (c)(7)(A)) for the calendar year in which the sale occurs exceeds an amount equal to 1.7 multiplied by the reference price for such fuel in 2002, bears to
(ii) $8.75.
(C) Application of rules
Rules similar to the rules of the subsection (b)(3) and paragraphs (1) through (5) of this subsection shall apply for purposes of determining the amount of any increase under this paragraph.
(D) Special rule for steel industry fuel

(i) In general In the case of a taxpayer who produces steel industry fuel—

(I) this paragraph shall be applied separately with respect to steel industry fuel and other refined coal, and
(II) in applying this paragraph to steel industry fuel, the modifications in clause (ii) shall apply.
(ii) Modifications

(I) Credit amount Subparagraph (A) shall be applied by substituting “$2 per barrel-of-oil equivalent” for “$4.375 per ton”.
(II) Credit period In lieu of the 10-year period referred to in clauses (i) and (ii)(II) of subparagraph (A), the credit period shall be the period beginning on the later of the date such facility was originally placed in service, the date the modifications described in clause (iii) were placed in service, or October 1, 2008, and ending on the later of December 31, 2009, or the date which is 1 year after the date such facility or the modifications described in clause (iii) were placed in service.
(III) No phaseout Subparagraph (B) shall not apply.
(iii) Modifications The modifications described in this clause are modifications to an existing facility which allow such facility to produce steel industry fuel.
(iv) Barrel-of-oil equivalent For purposes of this subparagraph, a barrel-of-oil equivalent is the amount of steel industry fuel that has a Btu content of 5,800,000 Btus.
(9) Coordination with credit for producing fuel from a nonconventional source

(A) In general

The term “qualified facility” shall not include any facility which produces electricity from gas derived from the biodegradation of municipal solid waste if such biodegradation occurred in a facility (within the meaning of section 45) the production from which is allowed as a credit under section 45Kfor the taxable year or any prior taxable year.
(B) Refined coal facilities

(i) In general The term “refined coal production facility” shall not include any facility the production from which is allowed as a credit under section 45K for the taxable year or any prior taxable year (or under section 29 as in effect on the day before the date of enactment of the Energy Tax Incentives Act of 2005, for any prior taxable year).
(ii) Exception for steel industry coal In the case of a facility producing steel industry fuel, clause (i) shall not apply to so much of the refined coal produced at such facility as is steel industry fuel.
(10) Indian coal production facilities

(A) Determination of credit amount

In the case of a producer of Indian coal, the credit determined under this section (without regard to this paragraph) for any taxable year shall be increased by an amount equal to the applicable dollar amount per ton of Indian coal—
(i) produced by the taxpayer at an Indian coal production facility during the 7-year period beginning on January 1, 2006, and
(ii) sold by the taxpayer—

(I) to an unrelated person, and
(II) during such 7-year period and such taxable year.
(B) Applicable dollar amount

(i) In general The term “applicable dollar amount” for any taxable year beginning in a calendar year means—

(I) $1.50 in the case of calendar years 2006 through 2009, and
(II) $2.00 in the case of calendar years beginning after 2009.
(ii) Inflation adjustment In the case of any calendar year after 2006, each of the dollar amounts under clause (i) shall be equal to the product of such dollar amount and the inflation adjustment factor determined under paragraph (2)(B) for the calendar year, except that such paragraph shall be applied by substituting “2005” for “1992”.
(C) Application of rules

Rules similar to the rules of the subsection (b)(3) and paragraphs (1), (3), (4), and (5) of this subsection shall apply for purposes of determining the amount of any increase under this paragraph.
(D) Treatment as specified credit

The increase in the credit determined under subsection (a) by reason of this paragraph with respect to any facility shall be treated as a specified credit for purposes of section 38(c)(4)(A)during the 4-year period beginning on the later of January 1, 2006, or the date on which such facility is placed in service by the taxpayer.
(11) Allocation of credit to patrons of agricultural cooperative

(A) Election to allocate

(i) In general In the case of an eligible cooperative organization, any portion of the credit determined under subsection (a) for the taxable year may, at the election of the organization, be apportioned among patrons of the organization on the basis of the amount of business done by the patrons during the taxable year.
(ii) Form and effect of election An election under clause (i) for any taxable year shall be made on a timely filed return for such year. Such election, once made, shall be irrevocable for such taxable year. Such election shall not take effect unless the organization designates the apportionment as such in a written notice mailed to its patrons during the payment period described in section 1382 (d).
(B) Treatment of organizations and patrons

The amount of the credit apportioned to any patrons under subparagraph (A)—
(i) shall not be included in the amount determined under subsection (a) with respect to the organization for the taxable year, and
(ii) shall be included in the amount determined under subsection (a) for the first taxable year of each patron ending on or after the last day of the payment period (as defined in section 1382(d) for the taxable year of the organization or, if earlier, for the taxable year of each patron ending on or after the date on which the patron receives notice from the cooperative of the apportionment.
(C) Special rules for decrease in credits for taxable year

If the amount of the credit of a cooperative organization determined under subsection (a) for a taxable year is less than the amount of such credit shown on the return of the cooperative organization for such year, an amount equal to the excess of—
(i) such reduction, over
(ii) the amount not apportioned to such patrons under subparagraph (A) for the taxable year,

shall be treated as an increase in tax imposed by this chapter on the organization. Such increase shall not be treated as tax imposed by this chapter for purposes of determining the amount of any credit under this chapter.
(D) Eligible cooperative defined

For purposes of this section the term “eligible cooperative” means a cooperative organization described in section 1381(a)which is owned more than 50 percent by agricultural producers or by entities owned by agricultural producers. For this purpose an entity owned by an agricultural producer is one that is more than 50 percent owned by agricultural producers.
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Yep, remember the simple days when we roamed through the desert on camels, so free and easy, and when we did not need to fill up our cars with carbon spewing fuels?  Remember when manna fell from heaven and we did not have to wait in line for a shitty meal at Outback Steakhouse?  Remember when gold was so cheap we could make a golden calf without worrying about paying $1,500 per ounce?  Remember when men wore big fluffy beards and carried long staffs and they were not racially profiled?   Remember when plagues were really cool, like locusts and frogs and boils and darkness?   Remember when pyramids were built WITHOUT building permits and city inspectors?  Remember (before global warming) when a person could simply part a sea and let 620,000 people through as compared to what it takes now to serve 10 people at the US Post Office or DMV?  Remember life before lobbyists starting hiring lawyers to write a tax code so complicated that tax attorneys like me have to call other attorneys to decipher it?
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Ahh, the wonderful and ubiquitous internet. It has taken away the mortar from the bricks, replaced relationships with tweets, and taken porn out of seedy back room stores and put it smack dab (sorry, poor choice of words) into the home. It has also provided an outlet for all sorts of people whose work, thoughts, music, art, whatever, should never be on display. Anywhere! Anytime! But noooooo,  democratically (small D) it’s for everyone.

We have scoured (again, poor choice of words; the internet can never be cleaned) the internet for art. And truthfully, we were surprised. It was much worse than we thought. A candidate with an etch-a-sketch can do better. Don’t read anything into that as a political statement. We think it’s just as funny as a President slow-jamming the news. That’s the problem with media. Everything is immediate. In earlier times, if Ben Franklin farted, it wasn’t news for 3-4 weeks. By then the air had certainly cleared – both literally and figuratively. But we digress.

Here are some of the examples we found. We have some that we feel we can explain, others defy explanation. Perhaps you can help us.

Truer words were never spoken. We wish we came up with this first. It explains Thomas Kinkade, may he rest in peace.

The Mona Astronaut? Move on, this is not the art you’re looking for.

This is not a portrait of the Two Bruces. Rather it’s a photoshop representation of our two collective sets of parents. It’s a wonder they didn’t drown us at birth!

This hangs on the refrigerator door at Bruce’s house. He is so proud!

Finally, someone had the guts to start censoring this crap. The rumor is that it’s the same “art” that’s on Bruce’s fridge door.

We’re not certain. If it was a different vegetable, we’d be inclined to say it’s our new turn(ip) table for playing the Wiggles.

Anyone?

And finally…

Nobody doesn’t like Jello! Right? Right?

See? Anything can be “art.” Like in politics, say it loud enough, long enough, and with a enough of conviction and you too will have followers willing to drink your “kool-aid.” It’s worked before, it’ll work again.

What do you do when your best friend blogs behind your back? It’s a tacky question and one I’ll be inquiring of my attorney about. So to get even, here’s my version of the story and I’m sticking to it!

So, Bruce and I get into the time machine and head down to the annual Memphis in May Barbeque Fest. This is a paean to all things pig, all things pork, and all things excessive. In other words, just the kind of stuff we like to comment on.

All things pork and wonderful.

Imagine if you will, acres of riverfront park given over to the wholesale worship of porcine cooking. No, it’s not the Oscar Meyer cafeteria, but there were two Wienermoibiles! Who knew there was a fleet of them? We asked if we could drag race them down Riverside to see if the red hotdog Wienermobile was faster than the everyday one, but they declined. They didn’t relish that idea (yeah, we know!) and something about there being a mustard shortage. Hmmm.

So we wandered around in search of free food and drink. Never let it be said that either Bruce is not a resourceful sort of guy. Read this as us being really cheap and wanting to score some gratis grub. What you got to know about this is that these people are very friendly but serious. They have a competition to see who has the best ribs, best pulled pork (conjures up images of…better left unsaid), best cole slaw, really. They have judges and blue ribbons and Pabst Blue Ribbon and these guys work hard at this. Almost as hard as they do partying. Almost as hard as they do coming up with their team names. Our favorite is Aporkalypse Now. I love the smell of bacon in the morning!

We were in luck. We were able to con our way into a few booths and sample the goodies. Free pig, free beans and slaw, free beer! What’s not to like? It’s all good. Some different from the set-up next door, but still good stuff. There’s nothing like seeing a pig/hog (what’s the difference?) being gutted, sewn up and stuck on a spit for its final indignity before becoming a version of Anthony Bourdain’s favorite food. Yeah, good stuff.

So, hopefully you get the picture of this swine soiree. But this has been just about the hosts and their fare. What about the guests?

Indicative of the crowd.

Without a doubt, some of the guests, no, many of the guests could qualify for being stuck on a spit. And should be. With absolutely no exaggeration, here are some of the things witnessed at this pork party. One guy, covered in many tattoos, smoking a cigarette, was driving golf balls into the Mississippi River. He was quite proud of the one he drove onto a coal carrying barge, this coughing up a small plume of coal dust when his ball struck. Hope the captain saw it and rang the emergency bell. What fun!

Then there are the attendees intent on becoming as red as the pigs over the open flames. They were succeeding. And like the aforementioned pigs, they had just a little, stress little, more clothing on them than the pig. The scary thing about many of these is that they were almost as large of the porcine roasters. This is what drives people to vegetarianism.

We walked by one team’s booth and one of the team members was flat on his back, sound asleep, lustily dreaming of pork. How do we know? Use your imagination. It wasn’t pretty. Government regulations prevent us from showing the lucky guy. Or at least he hoped he was going to get lucky later.

The decorations used by teams are worthy of any Fellini movie; Satyricon comes to mind. Gaudy, bawdy, oh lawdy, how trashy! Yeah, it is all good.

Next year, we’re going to a nun’s convention. We hear they have a lot of bad habits to kick.

The Worst Job In America

Posted: May 19, 2012 in Humor, People
Tags: ,

The 2 Bruces went to the Memphis In May International Barbecue Fest yesterday afternoon.   Why?  It was Friday, we live in Memphis, it is May, it was very hot and humid, and we were hungry.  Plus, the other Bruce had a free parking pass.

What is this world famous festival of pork?  As a Jewish kid from Brooklyn who came to Memphis in 1989 to get married, work, live, and procreate, I learned quickly that kosher would not likely be in my vocabulary anymore.; not that it really ever was.    Anyway, Memphis in May’s World Championship Barbecue Cooking Contest is held in mid May each year down by the beautiful Mississippi River at Tom Lee Park.  Hundreds of teams compete for over $110,000 in prizes and supreme bragging rights. Teams adorn their areas with elaborate decoration, trophies attesting to their boasting rights, and as one can imagine, clever and creative team names. While grilling is the main theme, the contest wouldn’t be complete without the Ms. Piggie Idol competition where the finest swine tests their vocal skills, and grown men dress in tutus and snouts and women kick their heels (hooves) up. There is also a t-shirt competition and even a best booth contest.   It is truly a lot of fun.  I never get bored watching people.  It is better than sitting on a bench at Times Square.   Each year I try and go down to the river before the tourists and big crowds make their way.  Plus, if you know some of the booth owners, Friday lunch is on them.

I have been noticing each year that security is getting tighter.  It makes sense on one level.  With the threat of international terrorism on the rise, it is conceivable that someone would want to do harm at the international barbecue festival.  Right?  Wrong!!!

What are the possible acts of terrorism that may occur at the Memphis In May festival?  Well, yesterday we saw one of those institutional garbage collection containers smoking, and I noticed a man with a small garden hose keeping it under control.  I asked what the problem was, and he stated “the usual, these rednecks do not know how to dispose of charcoal”.  As the water from the Mississippi flowed on the pile, I thought how terrible it must be for those in New Orleans having less water coming down that way.  Terrorism?  Nope.

I saw another guy, likely from Frayser, hitting golf balls into the Mississippi River from a makeshift putting green right at the edge of the river bank. First a cigarette puff, then a swing, then a puff, then a swing.   I asked him if he was keeping away the terrorist gulls that were trying to politely fish for food.  “Nope, just keeping up with my game”.  I had this thought of a bloated catfish in Vicksburg, MS, coughing up a golf ball.

Then why is it that on the entrance line, as I passed through the gate, that I was greeted with “show us your belt line”.  What the hell does that mean, as I thought for a second.  Oh, they want all of us to pull up our shirts to prove that we had nothing hiding in there that might be considered dangerous to the barbeque festival?  What?????   You’re shitting me????  They have enough propane, charcoal, lighter fluid, electrical wires, batteries, and booze on the other side of the fence to blow up Tehran.  Why would I carry a concealed weapon into the fest?  So, I was sure the next communication was going to be, “all laptops, liquids, gels, keys, shoes, money, must be checked separately”.  I did not hear that, and thanks for small favors.

So, I inquired to the guy; are you telling me that your job is to look at people’s guts all day; men, women, children?  Yes, sir.  I reminded him that Memphis and the mid-south has the highest obesity rate in the country.   Do we think the bigger danger to America is obesity or whether a terrorist may hold up a festival booth for its baked beans as in  “this is a terrorist act; I want all of your baked beans”;  yes, and I know you must have extra  molasses back  there……..!

I used to think that the poor shmuck who pats down people at the airport had the worst job in America.  I mean, seriously, touching people’s privates all day may seem fun, but it must get old.   Now I am convinced that the worst job in America is at the Memphis In May International Barbeque Fest.  Hats off to the guy who stands in the hot sun all day asking for people to pull up their shirts and show them their belt line (code for overweight, barbeque and fast food filled gut).

For a country that was created with such promise and hope, the good old USA has been something of an underachiever of late. The boom years of adding states willy-nilly are over. We seem to have lost our mojo. The last time we added states, really annexed them, was in 1959 when we decided Alaska and Hawaii should start paying taxes too. That’s 53 years ago! Have we run out of white thread to add stars to the flag? Come on now. There is plenty of low-hanging fruit ripe for the picking and adding to the union. If we’re smart, we might get one with oil and solve the whole damn mess we’re in.

So, where do we start? The countries bordering us make the most sense in the short term. Currently we are still stronger than they are and can quickly over-run them and make them the 51st and 52nd states. Immediately our tax rolls increase and the deficit goes down. The immigration problem goes away. Does it really take the Two Bruces to figure this one out? No wonder we’re in the condition we’re in.

OK, so Canada and Mexico are in. What’s the next target? This will take some clear and cogent thought. Who has the best fast food restaurants we’d like to see here?

First off, with the growing Latino population, we must find a way to serve them as well since they will be voters too. That turns out to be an easy solution as well: Cuba and Puerto Rico.

         The 53rd and 54th states.

Puerto Rico is already part of the US but denied rights for too many years. They’ve wanted statehood for quite some time now, but who knows why, and we should grant it to them. Cuba is another no-brainer. First of all, we can finally get some good cigars here. Secondly, their mechanics take a back seat to no one at keeping cars running way past their buy-by-date. And their food is fantastic!

So, now that we’ve picked the tree bare of the easy stuff, who’s next? In the spirit of true expansionism and William Randolph Hearst, we propose making all of South America a state. Hell, it’s already an America! With all the drought going on, having our own rain forest will solve that problem! Think of how cheap coffee will be, that is until General Foods gets their hands on it. If you ask us, and you should have by now, they are taking that “General” name just a little too seriously. Wait. That’s it. That’s pure genius Bruce. Why didn’t I think if that? One small problem: does it become one big honking state or do we break it up into many? Oooh, more political races – what fun!

Going forward, the US government will now take applications and grant statehood to corporations. Of course, they will need to jump through all the hoops immigrants do in order to achieve this. Then, they’ll have to wait five years before getting their permanent work permits. In that time, the government will tax them unmercifully thus eliminating the deficit. This is so in keeping with the Citizens United decision that it gives us goosebumps.

But the benefits don’t stop there. They will have to have free elections, just like the rest of the country does. The voters, paid off as well as anyone, can decide who they want to run the state/corporation’s next administration. Damn the stock price, we want health care! We want child care! We want health clubs! We want better coffee in the employee lounge! ARE YOU LISTENING?

Do this and the USA will have its mojo back in spades. And nobody will screw with us either because they know if they do, we’ll grant them statehood.We’re back, baby! And better than ever!

We are bloggers. There…we’ve said it and admitted it. It’s been known that the first step to recovery is to admit you are not well, or addicted, or some such malady from which you never knew you suffered. Sounds like self-flagellation for which we would much rather have a willing partner.

The Patron Saint of Blogging/Pin-up Queen/Blogger’s Centerfold.

One must learn the underlying factors that contribute to blogging. Until they are discerned, one must face that a life filled with half thoughts, incomplete sentences, bad grammar, crappy art, excess time, poor spelling, gratuitous foul language (not that there’s anything wrong with that), and the realization that the usual self-aggrandizement that comes with publicizing one’s own persona is a life bereft of any true meaning. And your diet will consist  of anything salty/sweet, caffeinated beverages, take-out food that comes in boxes both cardboard and styrofoam….because nothing else will matter!

The Blogger’s Aspirational Goal.

Yes, that’s right; it is a meaningless life. However, you can be helped. But again as we stated earlier, you must admit your failings. It starts now. This is an intervention! STEP AWAY FROM THE KEYBOARD. NOW! NO, WE MEAN IT!

The world does not want to see the “cute” pictures of your children, pets, vacations, cars, boy/girl friends, whatever. The world wants even less to read what you feel you have to say, really. Why did you even think you have something meaningful to say? Truthfully, we don’t either, but since we are attempting to explain everything, this is as good a place as any to start. CLEAR ALL YOUR BOOKMARKS. THEY WILL BE DEAD TO YOU AND MEAN NOTHING TO YOU FROM NOW ON!

Now, of course you’re thinking to yourself that who are they (The Two Bruces) to tell us what and how to do it when they obviously are so guilty of what they portray as evil. Oh, yes. We know. We’ve been down that sordid road, barely surviving the clutches of this horrendous affliction. But we are Bruces. We know these things. And you should listen to us.

YOU, THERE. YES, YOU! TAKE YOUR HAND AWAY FROM THE MOUSE! YOU DON’T GET OFF SO EASY!

As we were saying, it’s an affliction but curable. And since you’ve admitted it, you are now on the long road to recovery. It won’t be easy; it won’t be brief. (This ain’t no party, no CBGB’s, this ain’t no messing around!) We hope you like herb tea because caffeine is now out of the question. No more Starbucks for you! Think Celestial Seasonings offerings. No more junk food either. This is the bed you created for yourself and we aim to help you get into a new, psychic Tempurpedic. It will be difficult, but ultimately worth it. AND FOR GOD SAKES,  NO MORE ONLINE SHOPPING! DO YOU REALLY NEED ANOTHER PAIR OF INFLATABLE TOOTHBRUSHES?

Going forward,we just have thi6te–=s – damn mouse! Bruce, can you fix this #&^%(*@ thing!?